Mr. Garner Goes To Washington

As I sat in the Chick-fil-A drive-through line, a child's voice caught my attention. The boy sounded as if he were pleading to his mother about something. Looking over my right shoulder, I could see a woman, a young boy, and a young girl walking to a newer model Honda van. The kids each had balloon animals given to them by a local artist inside the store. The pleading seemed to relate to not wanting to leave the store but I wasn't entirely certain of that. Lowering my passenger window, the audio was clearer. "Shut up! You're embarrassing me!" My heart sank. Telling a child to shut up is bad enough but clearly this woman was more concerned about the people around her and their opinion.  She mentioned another sentence about the need to leave and that the children were causing a scene. Take a breath...

After three months, several tiny holes in two bedroom ceilings, multiple failed techniques, falling from a ladder and nearly breaking my hand, and wasting $625 with Home Paramount - a squirrel was caught in our attic in less than a day. Borrowing a Havahart trap from a friend, baiting it with peanut butter, and placing it in the attic on the afternoon of February 13 the next morning we had a squirrel. Yup, on Valentine's Day we caught the little varmint. Here's where any rational person would ask: Why didn't you do that from the start? Well, like millions of men before me, at the time my approach seemed like a good idea. Plus, guys often don't ask for help and borrow things as a last resort. Or at least that's the way I operate. Now, left to my own devices I would've water-boarded that squirrel into telling me the location of the secret Rebel base. Or at least revealing if there were any other squirrels in my attic. Since we had 17 inches of snow outside, ...