Mr. Garner Goes To Washington

Tuesday night, I heard the sound I've grown to dread: scratching above G's ceiling. Exasperated, I thought, "After sealing the breech, we trapped the thing in there?!" But this scratching didn't sound as close. It sounded more like it was outside. Upon investigation, there was indeed a squirrel trying to dig through the wooden patch. I clapped my hands - which hurt - and flailed my arms - which probably looked silly. I had to run it off three times before it disappeared for the night. Then came early Wednesday morning. G reported scratching above her room. I assumed the rascal had returned. Upon inspection outside, the doom became clear: not only had the squirrel from the night before returned but also there appeared to be one still in the attic trying to escape!

Ever fallen from a ladder? It's a surreal experience. After spending time making certain the ladder was on solid ground outside my house, I carefully ascended it while confirming balance and stability. When I reached two steps from the yellow top of the six-footer, I stabilized myself further and began shooting hornet spray into an opening just beneath our townhome's roof. Sufficiently saturating the opening and hopefully interior of the breech where the evil squirrel had taken up residence, I began to make my decent. Then, it happened. The ladder was on the corner of my neighbor's stoop. It must've shifted just enough to tilt to the side. Maybe it slipped off the stoop. I didn't process those details. In a split second, I knew there was no stabilizing the ladder nor could I hold onto the awning over my neighbor's door. Whether the words came out of my mouth, I at least thought, "Lord, help!" In slow motion, I fell. So many people say similar inc...

I have a new hatred for squirrels. For the past couple weeks, scratching in the attic above Georgia's room was suspected as belonging to a squirrel. Confirmation came when I caught the little punk coming out of a breech in the upper right corner of the roof near the downspout. At first, I assumed he'd move on from our banging on walls with fists and drumsticks. But the random scratching continued.

According to my Facebook Friends List, I joined the social media mecca in December 2007. That sounds about right. I was still working at WUSA9 in DC and Facebook until September 26, 2006, had only been used by college and high school students. Yes, there was a time when one had to be attending college or high school to use Facebook because access to it required an email addy ending in .edu. Prior to Facebook, I used MySpace. Ah, that cyber-wasteland once referred to as an "online booty call" and has undergone a Justin Timberlake reboot. Not feeling it, Justin, but love the videos you and Fallon do. Keep it up, brah! I have no clue when I setup that account and digging around the site offered little insight.

Last Saturday, we cut the proverbial cord on Comcast XFINITY®. For the first time in years, I was around no TV signal of any kind. No rabbit ears, dish, or cable. Nada. That might make some of you break out in a cold sweat. Others have applauded the effort as something they'd already accomplished. Some friends were shocked that I'd do this during football season. But most people quickly remember I'm not the biggest sports fan. Heck, I can't even muster the interest to participate in a fantasy league I joined this season. I like football but there's no game I have to see.

"You have what we call a nipple cone," the optometrist told me. It was difficult not to be 12 years old at that comment. Yet, it got me to thinking about my future vision. Shortly after getting married, my vision started changing. I needed glasses. Yeah, it's great joke material but the fact is I never considered glasses or contact lens before then. I don't recall precisely when Dr. Williams diagnosed me with Keratoconus but I'll always be grateful that he did. Keratoconus is an eye disease that affects the structure of the cornea. The cornea's shape slowly changes from the normal round shape to a cone shape. This was the first time I'd been diagnosed with anything permanent or a "condition." At the time, he indicated that contact lens weren't a recommended option as I would have to wear gas-permeable hard lenses. These would be uncomfortable and could further weaken the cornea. Surgery was not an option. LASIK, for example,  could hav...

While boys may not play Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians anymore, their play is often around weapons, rescue missions, exploration, and adventure. However, in today's politically correct and overly sensitive society, this type of play is nearly criminal.

Georgia loving on her first dog. Maddy the beagle came into our lives when she was found hiding in the bushes near the Spirit 106 office in Ridgeland, MS. Kim and another lady in the business complex were feeding the stray beagles in hopes of catching them to find a home. Kim's rescue partner called and said she had a beagle in front of her office that wouldn't come out of the bushes and appeared to need help. Kim and I went to get her. We'd pull her out of the bushes, and she'd try to return. Eventually, we got her into my car and took her to our vet. She had fleas and ticks covering her entire body. After getting an exam and flea dip, our radio station manager agreed that she could stay in an empty room at the back of the building until we determined next steps. This sweet beagle stayed there almost 3 days mostly sleeping, drinking and eating some, enjoying brief walks, but mostly sleeping and cowering every time we approached her.

Today, Kim and I celebrate sixteen years of marriage. Sixteen. Sweet Sixteen. That seems like a lot and yet it seems so short. Anniversaries tend to evoke reflections on where I've been physically or emotionally. Ideally, I can see where I've matured and grown. Where I've learned from my mistakes. I feel very lucky - more accurately very blessed - to be married to the woman who completes me in so many ways. We're opposites. Yet, this is why we compliment each other so well. Where one is lacking, the other fills. Where one is needing, the other helps. Our personalities are opposite but isn't that what happens? Opposites attract.

I've gotta say, there's just something about ole San Fran. It really is a cool, big, little city. Granted, I haven't seen perhaps more than a fourth of it in my three trips but it delights me with each visit. The weather is pleasant, topography and sights are stunning, people are friendly, sidewalks are wide, and the city feels relatively clean compared to much of NYC or DC. However, there's a plight in San Fran of homelessness. Sure, it's everywhere and maybe moreso due to the economy. Seeing one homeless person is too many, but I couldn't walk a block in San Fran without passing by at least one or two unfortunate souls. Passing by. There's the phrase to focus on: I passed them by.